My thoughts for A. Jan "Memories

Reply to your letter of 6.7.18, 3 months after your arrest in detention pending deportation.

Oh my dear friend!

You send me your thoughts on the day of your interview "Humanitarian Right to Stay" in Austria and your arrest there in detention pending deportation.
In a matter of seconds I experience this feeling of powerlessness when you were arrested next to me, after a 1 1/2 hour interview, after presenting the best integration (HTL certificates, job promise, etc.) without any warning, apathetically and with a friendly smile from the BfA official.
I remember your face, your facial expressions, which showed all the pain and incomprehension that washed over you.
And I remember my helplessness, my pleas to wait for the end of the current proceedings. I remember my powerlessness, my sadness, my anger.
The fact that even the judge in charge allowed himself to ask whether it wasn't uneconomical and somewhat incomprehensible to deport you later reassured me somewhat in my perennial question of "How are laws played?

Now 3 months have passed, you alone, hiding, afraid of discovery in Afghanistan, a war-torn country of the most brutal kind.
Me, here in one of the safest countries in the world, surrounded by my family, my loving, great friends and supporters and my boys from Afghanistan who are doing great things. Everyone's thoughts are always with you, Jan.

I live my life, ups and downs, shudder when I turn on the news, when I observe the practice of political dealings with refugees.
I laugh, I cry, I mourn, I struggle, .....oftentimes I am stunned and so incredibly angry.
People talk about justice?
I ask myself daily, where is the line to accept xenophobia, racism and cruel political calculations in the name of justice?
I ask myself every day, what can I do to help change this obtuseness, this envy, this bred fear, to bring people back to mercy, to charity, to love?

Daily contact

Every day we talk on the phone.
We have philosophical, sad, long, short conversations. Sometimes we laugh together, sometimes we are silent, sometimes you end the phone call so that I don't have to see your sadness, your tears, sometimes my nerves leave me when you justifiably let your anger flow over our country. Forgive me Jan, but then I think of the many wonderful people in our country, of my family, of people who fight tirelessly in peaceful struggle against this injustice, deportations to Afghanistan.

And I think of how much I wish to lessen your grief, your despair, this terrible pain of being left alone.
How much I would like to take you in my arms and tell you: "it's over".
How I would like to watch you start your job as a technician in Austria, for which you have a promise, and slowly, slowly but steadily heal the mental wounds inflicted on you and find your way back to who you are.

Our pact, we stay connected!

Dear Ahmad Jan, many of my actions are spontaneous, adapted to the daily needs, challenges of life. But there are also many things that I pursue consistently.
One of them is the commitment to you. I myself am often tired, desperate, but in the end, confidence always wins out, allowing me to move forward in daily small steps.
Rest assured, dear Ahmad, I and a small group of very brave, loving people will keep an eye on your case for as long as possible, working for it as best we can, until we get an answer.
And whatever it is, we will not rest until you have landed in a place where you can combine the beauty of life and your being!

Be confident, even if the grey shadows constrict your heart, love will prevail and we will continue our conversations, our letters until peace and the knowledge of your safety has entered our hearts.
Despite 1000s of kilometres of distance, we are with you in our hearts,
Doro